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| meh. so i've just decided to leave everything in His hands. He will take care of what would happen in the future ne?
i'll just shower the people around me hearts! you know..that lurv kind hearted thang.
mmhmm 
then whatever happens happens (i should believe, for a reason)
i'm just sick of people bullshitting me and lying to my face. -.-
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| things are doing fine now, in terms of family and love life. school is a bit unstable still but i could fix it when i stop being lazy. lol.
i guess...after all that stress and arguing and crying over things with these people i love......there indeed was a silver lining through all of the sadness and ....other angst-y stuff.
well. i still love my family, and matt, despite it all <3
"Smile,
it's easier than explaining why you're sad.
The memories that we cherish,
And the people that we love,
Are the ones that can hurt us the most."
-d-chan
10-11-08
p.s. if you want to catch me on multiply here's my site: thisisawi.multiply.com
peace out homies.
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| sometimes it's hard to understand people. you wouldn't really know who they are unless you've lived with them for quite a while to actually get to know them, or unless you've been with and hanging out with them for quite some time. i've never really been too close to people around here, except for a few ones. but that's beside the point, what i'm trying to tell is that it's hard to believe that people could say certain ridiculous things, especially when, i guess you could say, you have a higher authority or the like. it's hard to believe that these certain people could tell you to cheat on a relationship, or that the relationship is not going anywhere might as well give up, or that you should love more people to actually know what love is.
why would you be the one to choose for someone else's life choice? i know it might be because you are looking after us. but sometimes these type of people make me think of things more deeply.
it's hard to love, to trust, to have faith. but you do it anyways because you feel a strong connection and you feel deep emotions toward this certain person and because you believe that you and this certain person really has something within. you know. love and all love's friends...the good abstracts. is it really hard to love? is it hard to trust? i guess, personally, for me it is. i blame it on personal experiences and my mother's emotional genes. (there are gene's that are emotional!?!? ftw? lol. i meant to say personality and attitude...and being emotional).
but, come on. why would you tell someone to cheat while you're away with your girl/boyfriend? and try to love other people while you're at it? and pick you're choice of whom from those people you've cheated who you really like? =/ iunno. to me it sounds ridiculous, pathetic, unbelievably sad.
i know that, if you're far apart from that person you're in relationship with, you'll meet people, other people that you might feel all nice inside again. butterflies and puffy clouds. so, again. my question. trust? is it hard to trust someone?
in relationships...trust and faithfulness are always an issue.
i'm just utterly and extremely sad to know that people would tell you to cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend.
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| alright finals are over. i just need to finish a painting and go to a conference period for philosophy on thursday.
sigh. but i still have no break since starting on may 12 i have another class for spring miniterm. but thankfully it will end on the 30th. ah well. three weeks isn't that bad. after that then i have my break.
last week of school is blah. i wish everything would just work well. but that's not gonna happen. so many things to handle, but i just don't have the power to handle these things. =/
sigh. oh well. as long as i have my family and matty i should be fine =]
[remember that your family is always with you]
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| there are a lot more possible worst things that is happening right now than family bs.
there are a lot more useful things to worry and care about than family bickering.
there are a lot more things that one could hold and love than money.
if we could just love one another and not have our pride and prejudices, and not have plastic faces, not have crab mentality, not have greediness, our family would be well off and in good terms.
i wish there would be no more fights between property, money, and who gets to be the "favorite."
if only we could love each other wholeheartedly.
i don't get it, we call ourselves Christians, we "love" God, we pray everyday, but our hearts are tinted with not only the sins stated above, but possibly a lot more. How could we love God if we do not love our brothers and sisters?
i just wish my family would all get along. but one should start from ones self.
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